In Competition with Myself

Comparing myself to others will literally be the death of me.

I think it’s a good thing to have role models and sources of inspiration, but this can become dangerous super fast too. It’s a routine that I constantly find myself falling into. There are so many beautiful, strong, and inspiring black women around me and I just want to be like them. I’m so hard on myself because I have all these goals and aspirations for my life that I feel like I should be accomplishing by now. I do realize that I’m slowly working towards these goals but as I’ve stated before, I’m a person who feels satisfied by seeing fast results.


I’m rolling my eyes at myself because I’m actually the most annoying human being. I am aware of my faults, I know the things I need to work on and yet I don’t do them. Why?? There comes a point when I need to stop complaining and just do. But y’all are just going to listen to me complain for a bit anyway

I feel so uninspired by my life at the moment. When I think about how much fun last summer was, I realize how lame this one has been. I work at Tim Hortons and I swear that is the most life sucking job there is. Fast food in general is just hell to work in, but the money isn’t too bad. But when I come home from working 8 hours at that hell, the last thing I want to do is work on any projects I have. I feel like this blog is pretty lame because it’s literally just me complaining about a bunch of different things. I just hope that anyone who reads this can somehow relate to how I’m feeling.

A lot of the time, I find myself wishing I was someone else. I wish I had more money, I wish I was prettier, I wish I was smaller, I wish a whole bunch of shit. But it’s all purely material. I have so much that is not material, but I forget about those things a lot. I know I am wealthy in love when it comes to my family and friends, and I am wealthy in happiness. All the other things I wish I had are unimportant, but they’re just a part of life. I want to be successful and I want to be known. I just need to accept that it will take time. Thanks for listening


P.S. I know today’s post didn’t make much sense, but you get the point


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